Loopyest Gizmoduck
by SharanMcQuack
Summary: Loopy McQuack ends up wearing the g-suit.


**The Loopy-est Gizmoduck**

By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad 's wife.

Based on "The Littlest Gizmoduck" in Uncle Scrooge #392 and elsewhere.

Still trying to stop Disney from stubborning themselves to death. Whether they like it or not. I'm trying to HELP. Stop trying to sell us what YOU want us to buy. Sell what WE want to buy. It's easier. And it works better.

OK, Disney- you want a girl being Gizmoduck? You got a grown woman being Gizmoduck. And it AIN'T going to be ME!

I am SO tempted to make it permanent, she'd do a much better job at being Gizmoduck than Fenton. Not that THAT'S saying much. Of course, Mr. McD WAS thinking of hiring another Gizmoduck...

* * *

Dr. Sara Bellum was reprogramming the G-suit so it would respond only to Fenton's voice.

"This is a tape of the correct voice, saying the code words. Please program the g-suit to respond to this voice only." Mr. McDuck said.

"Very well. But why isn't the original inventor doing this? (1)" Sara asked.

"Some nonsense about it not being safe." Mr. McDuck hmpfphed.

"You mean because once it's been programmed to respond to this voice alone, it will be VERY hard to change that programming if the user dies or gets sick?" Sara asked.

"Something like that." Mr. McDuck replied.

"You're the boss." Sara replied.

But Mr. McDuck had made a rare error. He had made very sure Sara could not hear the tape, lest Sara recognize Fenton's voice. But he forgot to change the input setting. It was still set on "phone", which meant the g-suit would respond to the voice of the next INCOMING phone call.

Only that voice and only the first sentence. The phone setting was activated AFTER the caller spoke to Mrs. Feathery, once the caller was connected to the correct party.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Mansion, Mrs. Featherby handed Launchpad a phone.

"It's for you, Mr. McQuack." Mrs. Featherby said.

"Launchpad McQuack speaking." Launchpad said.

"Hello, brother mine. Three guesses who's in Duckburg?" Loopy McQuack replied.

Loopy didn't know it but now the g-suit would only respond to Loopy McQuack's voice and only to the sentence: "Hello, brother mine." Neither did Sara.

"The Queen of England? Queen Latifah? The rock band, Queen?" Launchpad jokily replied.

"No, silly. Me! Your one and only sister!" Loopy replied.

"Knew it was somebody very important and royal." Launchpad replied.

Launchpad arranged to meet his sister at the Mansion and have lunch together.

Mr. McDuck took the g-suit into his office and left it there for Fenton to pick up later. He then left the Mansion.

Launchpad then went into Mr. McDuck's office to tell Mr. McD he was going to take lunch with his sister. But the office was empty. Until Loopy McQuack walked in.

"Hello, brother mine! Guess who "forgot" to mention I was flying a copter, not a plane or that I landed near the Mansion?" Loopy asked.

Loopy hardly finished that little speech before the g-suit responded to Loopy's voice saying: " Hello, brother mine." The g-suit flew onto Loopy McQuack! Loopy was now Gizmoduck. Whether she liked it or not.

"What?" asked Gizmoloopy, understandably confused.

"Loopy, Mr. McDee said he was going to reprogram the gizmoduck suit so it only responds to it's owner's voice. Something must of gone wrong!" Launchpad stated.

" It responded to your voice! Whatever you do, don't touch any of the buttons. They are in no order whatsoever and a lot of them are weapons. It's not like on one of our planes, where we're not allowed to have weapons." Launchpad explained.

" Just say "Hello, brother mine" again and the g-suit should fly off again, and we can figure out what happened." Launchpad said.

"Not so fast, Launchpad. I can do that later. Let me try something first." GizLoopy said.

And she found and opened the reprogramming hatch (which neither Fenton nor Launchpad had noticed.)

"Good thing I've taken some classes in computers. I thought they might come in handy." GizLoopy said.

"G-suit- you have been programmed to respond to my voice?" GizLoopy asked, after turning on the "audio respond" switch.

"Affirmative. Code words: "Hello, brother mine" in your voice only now cause this unit to activate." the g-suit replied.

"From now on, bypass the buttons. I'll say: "g-suit do" before giving a command and you obey that command- understand?" GizLoopy asked.

"Affirmative. G-suit will now respond to voice commands in your voice only." g-suit replied.

Just about now, the Beagle Boys made yet another attempt to rob the Money Bin...and Fenton was out on a date with Gandra. They were shopping at an underground mall and were, at the moment, several floors underground. No cell phone reception.

This is not a totally outrageous coincidence, that the Beagles would strike now given Murphy's Law and the sheer number of times the Beagles try to rob the Bin.

"I might as well try and stop those stupid Beagles, given that I'm in this silly suit." GizLoopy said.

"Can I help?" Launchpad asked.

"Sure. I appreciate your help." GizLoopy replied.

And GizLoopy charged towards the Beagles. Launchpad followed.

"It's Gizmoduck!" Bicep screamed.

"He looks funny." Burger said.

"That's cause he ain't a he! That's a she! That's a GIRL in the gizmoduck suit."  
Big Time said.

How they could tell in that getup? Loopy doesn't know how to ride a unicycle, so she detacted it and ran. And Loopy has good legs. She's no Betty Grable, but she has good legs.

"Jet pack activate! Let me fly!" Screamed GizLoopy. Nothing happened.

"You forgot to say "g-suit do", sis!" Launchpad screamed.

"So I did. Thank you, brother mine." GizLoopy said.

And the G-suit suddenly stopped in mid stride.

"She didn't say "Hello, brother mine", she just said "brother mine!" yelled Launchpad.

He's had some experience with machines pretending to be stupid and inanimate objects giving people a hard time.

Some unfamiliar Beagles attacked them. Launchpad kept them busy.

"G-suit: activate jet pack! Let me fly!" GizLoopy said.

This time it obeyed. GizLoopy buzzed Big Time, Burger and Bicep. Launchpad had already taken care of their distance cousins who had come to help.

"It's only a dumb girl!" screamed Bicep.

"Hey, that's my sister you're talking about!" yelled Launchpad.

"Like I said, a DUMB girl!" replied Bicep.

And he TRIED to sock her. GizLoopy ducked. Force of habit. Bicep lost his balance and Launchpad "accidently" pushed Bicep into one of the Money Bin's booby traps.

Bicep struggled so much he almost seriously hurt himself. GizLoopy tried to help, Bicep hit her again. This time, GizLoopy remembered she was wearing the g-suit and let the idiot do so.

"Ouch! My paw!" Bicep hollered.

"Yes, what did happen to your Pa? I always wondered." GizLoopy asked.

Naturally, she had heard of MA Beagle but what happened to the patriarch of the family...she didn't know.

GizLoopy tied Bicep up- still inside the trap so he just stay there till the cops came. Finally unable to struggle, Bicep gave up and waited.

Meanwhile, Launchpad has reached the Bin and made like he was trying to break into it, which naturally set off every alarm and booby trap in the plac. Launchpad jumped back, trying to avoid the traps...but one of the multi-numerous traps caught Launchpad.

GizLoopy freed him.

"Thanks! Watch out!" Launchpad asked.

Burger had tried to sneak up on her, a LARGE club in his paws.  
GizLoopy grabbed the club and they struggled.

"Oh, Burger! My pal, Dufus has all kinds of snacks hidden in that tree house!" shouted Launchpad, pointing to the Trin's treehouse.

"Food!" said Burger and he scrambled up the ladder to the treehouse.

GizLoopy ripped off the ladder while Launchpad grabbed a couple of hammers and some nails and some wooden boards Launchpad was going to fix the treehouse with.  
Together, they nailed the entrance to the treehouse shut, trapping Burger up in the treehouse.

Meanwhile, Burger had found Dufus' stash of snacks and was too busy stuffing himself silly to notice.

"Just one Beagle left!" Launchpad said.

"Go, go gadget!" GizLoopy joked.

"I may be the only Beagle left, but I'M the brains of the outfit!" Big Time boasted.

"THAT'S not saying much!" snapped back Launchpad.

"Well, I figured out that there's a secret word to activate the g-suit! AND I got a security guard Scroogie hired to wear the suit and be a spare Gizmoduck to tell me it! Blatersnipe!" yelled Big Time.

Nothing happened.

"Sorry, Big Time! The g-suit's been reprogrammed and only responds to MY voice now!" GizLoopy said.

Now, Big Time had forgotten about Mr. McDuck, which is a foolish thing to do when one is trying to rob the Money Bin. Mr. McDuck had been working in his office, totally absorbed, unaware of what was going on until Launchpad set off the Money Bin's alarms. Then Mr. McDuck took the back route from the office part of the Bin to the Bin's security systems.

Seeing Big Time, Mr. McDuck activate the Money Din's defense system and grabbed Big Time with a giant pair of tweezers. The tweezers picked up Big Time, until he was high above the ground and held him tight. Mr. McDuck called the cops, and soon, Duckburg's finest arrived to haul the Beagles off to jail.

Mr. McDuck was so pleased, he did a little dance as he ran out of the Bin...and his glasses fell off his beak (I'm yet to figure out how they stay up there at all)and broke.

"Drat it all! I can barely see without my glasses!" Mr. McDuck muttered. "Good work, Gizmoduck! You're done a fine job!"

"But..." began Launchpad.

"Yes, yes, you did splendidly, Launchpad, warning me by setting off my alarms." Mr. McDuck said, facing Launchpad.

GizLoopy, behide Mr. McDuck's back, put her finger to her lip, then zipped her lip and pointed to Launchpad, indicating he should keep mum about her not being the real Gizmoduck.

Realizing that without his glasses, Mr. McDuck was too nearsighted to tell his sister was NOT the real gizmoduck, Launchpad just said:  
"You're welcome, Mr. McDuck.

Mr. McDuck ordered Duckworth to take him to the eyeglass store.

"I'm surprised you're buying new glasses, sir. Surely you have another pair?" Duckworth asked.

"They're just as old! And I bought that store three days ago! I think I can get a free pair or two, don't you?" Mr. McDuck replied.

"OK, sis, WHY didn't you want me to tell Mr. McDee you're not Gizmoduck?" Launchpad asked.

"And get the real Gizmoduck in trouble for not being here when all this was going on? I don't want to be Gizmoduck- not even part time, after this! G-suit: "Hello, brother mine!" GizLoopy said.

And the g-suit flew off her and she was just Loopy McQuack, once more.

"Why not? You did a great job!" Launchpad asked.

"I may not have claustrophobia like you, but if I had to wear that tin tuxedo much longer, that might have changed! I hate that thing! I see why you have such trouble with it! with your claustrophobia, it must of been torture being stuck inside that thing!" Loopy said.

"You may HAVE to be Gizmoduck from now on. You reprogrammed the G-suit to respond to your voice alone, remember?" Launchpad said.

Fortunately, Dr. Sara Bellum fixed that.

"Luckily, you're not exactly a professional computer programmer- no offence! You actually accidently made it EASIER for me to restore the g-suit to it's original programming." Sara began.

" It will now respond to the original code word in anybody's voice. I'll tell Mr. McDuck that there was a glitch and the g-suit needs to be reprogrammed and that I'll need another sample of Gizmoduck voice. That way I can reprogram it to only respond to it's original user's voice." Sara said.

"Good! Come, on Launchpad! We're overdue for lunch!" Loopy said.

**The End.**

* * *

(1) Because I don't LIKE the original inventor any more. I'm honest enough to admit that. If Disney likes Launchpad, I don't want to know how they'd dis him if they DIDN'T like him.

I USED to like UT, before Disney and the media rammed geeks, nerds and dweebs down my throat until I can't stand the sight of them.


End file.
